I’m emerging from a huge breakthrough in my life, probably the biggest life lesson I’ve ever moved through. And by taking the time to dive deep, I believe I gave myself the ultimate gift of self-love.
The Affliction of Overwork
I’ve been addicted to overwork (a workaholic) my whole life. I’ve had a powerful desire to shift this pattern for a very long time, but have been unable to successfully do so. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2013, I thought that was my big opportunity and lesson. And yet, while I did stop teaching workshops, I still had such a strong drive to create that I wrote a book about breast cancer, published it on Kindle, and created an online course and website based on the book. I thought I was supposed to be working with women with breast cancer and I was full steam ahead. I did take some down time during my recovery, but the essential pattern remained in place.
What Overwork Looks Like
As 2020 came to a close, I knew I had to make another massive effort to shift this pattern. It really doesn’t serve my highest good and leads to frustration, burnout, and that sense of running hard on a hamster wheel that never gets anywhere. What I’ve long been aware of in this pattern are the following aspects… see if you recognize any in yourself:
- Pushing to get things done without taking breaks, sometimes 12-14 hours a day.
- Whipping myself forward with self-imposed deadlines that are essentially meaningless.
- Perpetuating the ridiculous idea that I could “get ahead” or “get everything done.”
- Constantly navigating the fear falling behind.
- Believing that I can play when the work is done (but the work is never done).
- Rarely celebrating accomplishments, but going straight to “What’s next?”; focusing only on the next task rather than a bigger picture of what I really want to manifest.
- Inability to rest or play (except very briefly).
- Continuously investing in trainings (ie, marketing) in the hopes of gaining more traction with my work. It’s like I kept looking for the magic key and never found it. It was exhausting.
There’s an illusion of control that comes with this kind of pattern. A mental refuge where nothing has to be felt in body, heart, or soul. It’s a great way to stay in my head and let my ego run everything. But I want more than that for myself, for my work, and for my relationships. Much more.
Shattering the Illusions
2020 has done a great job of shattering the illusion of control and predictability. I figured there was no use pretending that I was in control of anything. So I decided to take some down time in December. To be as calm and quiet as possible while still “getting a few projects done.” Little did I know that my world was about to be blown open in a very unexpected way!
Intention is a powerful thing. It’s interesting to note that one part of me vaguely committed to taking some down time in December while another part was plotting projects for the month in a classic overwork pattern. When it came down to it, I could do nothing. Not even clean out a closet.
Forced to do Nothing
It was like being sick, except I wasn’t. For the first time in my life, I could not work. I was completely unmotivated, low on energy, and felt like my brain wasn’t working at all. I was actually being forced to do nothing.
It felt like depression that first week, and I was confused and scared. I’ve never experienced anything like it. By the second week, I was starting to adjust, but was still unable to muster motivation for anything but the most basic tasks of making food and doing the dishes and laundry. Even those felt like heavy chores.
As we headed toward the Solstice in the third week, I did my best to let go of the fear around what wasn’t getting done. I prepared myself for ceremony and inner work. I celebrated my 10th wedding anniversary on December 20th and on the Solstice, I took a solo breathwork journey. That’s when things started to get really interesting. It was very clear that my guides were just waiting for me to take the time and space to connect with them.
I realized I had gotten very lazy about my spiritual practices. I committed to an hour a day of practice first thing in the morning, including meditation (inner journeywork or guided feminine meditations), journaling, and drawing oracle cards to guide me. I began the very next day. And then things really took off in powerful multidimensional directions.
I received (and continue to receive) initiation after initiation with a new set of guides in the multidimensional realms. For the first time ever, I was visited by the Egyptian pantheon: Isis, Ra, Bastet, and Anubis. A new temple formed in the inner garden space where I do this kind of journey work. A purple crystal pyramid, the Sun Temple, and a reverse black crystal pyramid below it, the Moon Temple. Each day brings new expansion, guidance, and realizations.
Can I Have My Brain Back, Please?
As 2021 dawned with its new energy, I realized that I was going to need to ask to have my left brain back. The guides have been working with me in very esoteric ways and have helped me understand how to connect my heart to the energy grid that connects all life, but that won’t get the practical things done. There must be a balance. On Sunday January 3rd during my meditation, I made requests for balance between my brain hemispheres, for my left-brain capacities to come back online, for my passion and life force to come forward again, and for my sacred work to get supported in real-world ways to balance out the vibrational, energetic, and esoteric components.
From this sacred wild ride, I feel like I now have a process that I can share for others who experience the unstoppable drive to overwork and stay safe in their heads. 2021 and beyond requires a new approach that is more balanced and heart-centered. Here’s what I recommend based on my own experience. (I said it was simple, but I didn’t say it would be easy!)
A Simple Solution-Breaking the Cycle of Overwork
1. Make commitments and honor them with integrity. If you don’t, the old habits will sneak right back in. I know that I must honor my commitments to myself and trust that everything that needs to get done will get done. It helps to share your commitments with another human so there’s more accountability.
2. Give yourself 28 days to create a new habit. There must be a firm commitment to at least 28 days of carving out time to be still.
3. Take time every day for spiritual practices. My guides needed me to be in a meditative state so they could work with me. They were waiting and wasted no time in taking me through a powerful series of initiations that were just right for me. Make the space, set the intention, and trust your guides to do the same for you. It will look and feel different for each person, so avoid the temptation to compare your experience with mine or someone else’s.
4. Focus on your heart. You’ll have to cultivate enough self love to give yourself this time and space. While I have had a strong mental awareness that the new timeline we are entering and the new earth that is birthing requires that love takes center stage, I still was not as connected to my heart as I needed to be to bring my work in the way it needs to be brought. My guides did a lot of work with my heart chakra and I can feel the difference.
5. Stop and do nothing for periods of time, especially when you’re in overwork mode. I had to be literally “taken down” and not allowed to do anything productive, otherwise, nothing would have changed. Thankfully, it wasn’t due to an illness or “accident.” Get outside if you can; or if the weather is too extreme, stare out the window for awhile.
6. Take time off social media. I was off Facebook for 6 weeks during this time. I deactivated my profile. That really supported the whole process. I’m still feeling into permanently leaving. I will probably go back on and see how it feels, but I didn’t actually miss it one bit. I just feel so much toxic energy there, much of it coming from the business structure and invasive data policies.
7. Vision the bigger picture of a future you want to manifest. This has been challenging for me in the past until my friend Crystaline recommended a wonderful book that is perfect for this process.
8. You can choose this, or it can choose you (often when you least expect it). Spirit has ways of bringing us to our knees when we get stubbornly stuck in habits that don’t serve our awakening. Had I not surrendered to this process, a much bigger life lesson (read: kick in the ass) would have presented itself. Because I willingly (mostly) embraced the process, I didn’t have to get really sick, injured, or some other crazy thing to get this. I’m super grateful for that!
The Power of YIN
It really comes down to cultivating YIN, or feminine presence. We live in a world that values YANG, the masculine qualities of action, mental/rational focus, getting ahead, the straight line to a goal, and linear thinking. Cultivating YIN means becoming receptive, tuning in to your emotions, taking a more holistic view, recognizing and following your intuition, and becoming more aware of the multi-dimensional realms through inner journey work. We need both to function well in the world, and the world does not tend to encourage or reward YIN presence.
New Ways to Work
I also made some commitments to myself about how I will work in the future:
- Go toward what feels inspirational.
- Let it be easy and fun.
- Set regular work hours and stick to them.
- Take breaks.
- Go outside daily.
- Let go of the need to push to be “done.”
- When I feel that “nose to the grindstone” feeling, STOP and take a break.
- Relax self-imposed deadlines and trust divine timing.
- Integrate play/rest/movement into my days.
Holding Myself Accountable
By sharing my commitments to myself with you, I am holding myself accountable. As a leader in the sacred feminine space, integrity is very important to me. I am also BEYOND ready to make this shift. I’m taking baby steps into my new way of being now… my brain feels a little rusty. When I notice those old feelings coming up, I simply notice them and don’t allow them to play havoc with me.
I’m immensely relieved and extremely grateful to have my left-brain capacity returning… and I intend to keep my brain hemispheres balanced on a daily basis from here forward!
There is no more time to waste being stuck in old habits and outmoded patterns. Life and the planet need you in full awakening process, right now. If you would like support on this journey of awakening, consider joining me for The Sacred Feminine Path to Sexual Wholeness-The Alchemy of Abundance, a 6-week self-guided online program that includes beautiful multi-media content and a bonus collection. And help yourself to 20% off with this coupon code: amrita20
We also have several live events scheduled.
Love & blessings, Amrita